I’ve Been Diagnosed Late Stage Lyme’s Disease: Going to kick this in the ass!

This is the most helpful thing I have read about Lyme’s Disease and my experience dealing with it for the last 18 months to two years. During that time I did a 60 day challenge and dealt with all the symptoms below. Bikram Yoga probably saved my life as you will see in the article below I am re-posting.

I am back at Yoga and getting stronger, I am not out of the woods, it is likely I will have a full recovery but that is months away right now. What I need first is a 90 Commitment to the YOGA I love so that I can fight my way back to health.

I’ll tell you what this really clarifies the last two years. I will detail the four bite locations tomorrow,

Enjoy the read below and I have no idea who wrote it, it just surfaced in a Lyme’s Search and the links to the author were broke. So I can’t give credit to work that is not my own, but it seems most valuable to share.

Late Stage Lyme Disease, Patient Information

Can’t lie to ya. Rough road ahead. In fact, getting well may be about the hardest and most difficult thing you’ll ever do. But it’s worth it! Stick with it! Never give up hope!

The first thing you should know is that it gets worse before it gets better. It can in fact get a lot worse before it gets better. It depends on how long you’ve had it, how much of the bacteria has built up, what strain you have, and many other factors as well.

The Lyme bacteria gives off a chemcial toxin when it dies. When the antibiotics start killing them, the toxin levels in your body will soar and the symptoms can become intense. Physical symptoms include pain, numbness, swelling, tremors, and a myriad of others if internal organs are significantly affected. The toxin affects your mind as well. Typical symptoms include insomnia, confusion, disorientation, depression, anxiety and panic attacks. These will all go away as you get well!

As if the toxin effects weren’t good enough, another fact about the Lyme bacteria is that it grows and reproduces slowly. At first that may seem a good thing, except that antibiotics are generally able to kill it only during certain stages of it’s life cycle. The end result being that it takes a long time to get well. usually months. There have been cases of “miracle” cures in just a couple weeks, but these are rather rare. Just don’t give up hope! Keep at it! Keep trying! It takes a long time, but being happy and healthy again is worth it!

Of course we’d all probably like to have our mind functioning properly again as the first step in getting well. Unfortunately, that won’t happen. Your mind returns last, when just about all the bacteria are dead. Physical symptoms like pain and numbness go first, then the bacteria that didn’t cause pain, and then, finally, your head begins to clear up. This can be very disconcerting when your body feels good but your head is still reeling. Hang in there!

When you frist start on effective antibiotics, you’ll be in for quite an unpleasant surprise. Within a day or two you’ll feel like you’ve been hit by a fully loaded military cargo jet flying at full throttle. Your symptoms, including the ones you didn’t even know you had, will flare up intensely. Try hard to tough it out. But if you find that you absolutely positively can’t, and this is not too unusual, ask your doctor about lowering the dosage for a while, or pulsing on and off until you get through the worst of it. Sticking on the medication as prescribed, always taking them right on time, is your best bet for getting through it as quickly as possible. Don’t give those nasty little bacteria an inch! This can be really tough, because it takes at least a few weeks (6-8), and sometimes much more to get through the brutally hard part.

If when you start your antibiotics, your symptoms don’t flare severely, including ones you didn’t know you had, then you may have a strain that is resistant to that particular antibiotic. Or, perhaps, your body is fighting the antibiotic and not letting it do its job properly. This is one reason that two antibiotics are often used at the same time. It is a judgment call between you and your doctor as to whether the antibiotics are being effective, and what might need to be done if they aren’t.

Which set of symptoms, the physical or the psychological, will be the most difficult to handle is entirely up to the individual. Are you more physically oriented? Or are you a thinker? Some people are so happy-go-lucky and full of faith that nothing at all bothers them. In fact, many people are. You can be like them too. Just don’t bother to worry about it! You’re on the right road. The road to being happy, healthy and normal again!

Is it contagious? The answer is: no one knows. Spouses and siblings tend to all travel in the same places, so it is hard to tell if the disease was transmistted person to person or just infectious bites by different ticks. The long answer is: that since it’s a blood-borne disease, as long as you don’t go around biting people and bleeding on them, then no, it’s not. As always though, better safe than sorry.

A few annoyances you may encounter along the way, and should be made aware of if you’re the worrying sort:

1. Confusion/Disorientation. Your short-term memory will probably be taking a nice long vacation. You may find yourself confused about where you are and what you’re doing every time the scenery changes. Like when walking from one room to another, or driving (DON’T!). Sometimes even when just sitting or lying around doing nothing. It could also be even more intense, with temporary bouts of amnesia. But it’s a fact of life that vacations do end. This one tends to be about the most disconcerting psychological symptom for most people. Again though, it’s caused by the toxin release from the dying bacteria. It will get better and eventually go away!
2. Numbness. Various parts of your body, both those you knew were infected and those you didn’t, may go numb for a period of time. Quite often it’s just for a day or so, but can also last for many weeks, until enough of the bacteria in that location have been killed that the toxin level finally drops. Don’t panic! They all come back! (The numb body parts, that is!) They’ll eventually switch from numb to painful, and then finally to normal.
3. Pain. Same as 2), but may be sporadic pains instead of numbness.
4. It’s in more places than you know. While you are on effective antibiotics the bacteria are NOT spreading. Never had a problem with your back, but now it hurts? Forearms maybe? Wrists? They hurt now because the bacteria were there all along, and now that they’re dying they’re releasing toxins. It’s the toxin from the dying bacteria that causes the numbness and pain. Dead bacteria is a good thing! 
5. Insomnia. And not just at night either. You may find it impossible to nap during the day at all. You may get to enjoy every last minute of the worst part. As the toxin levels fall though, you’ll be able to sleep better and better.
6. Hallucinations and voices. These can occur during times when your mind and body are exhuasted but the toxins won’t let you sleep. You may be trying to rest, but your brain gets stuck halfway between sleep and awake, dreams and reality mix. Better sleep at night, along with less activity during the day, should help these symptoms disappear. Ask your Doctor about sleeping aids you can use if necessary. However, if you get these symtpoms while you’re wide awake and have gotten reasonable sleep, consult your doctor immediately.
7. Tremors, shakes, and spasms. Can occur in various places to varying degrees. The length of time they last varies as well. These may be caused by bacteria dying near, and hence irritating, a nerve which controls motion.
8. Sweats, hot, cold, day and night. Get used to them. You might consider adding just a bit of extra salt to your diet so that you don’t becaome salt/sodium defficient.
9. Fireworks, popcorn, or pin-cushion pains. These tend to feel like someone has picked a part of your body and decided to jab it with a pin a few times. Then they go and pick another spot. These are probably just irritations of pain nerves, or perhaps bacteria dying inside a nerve itself. You might notice that they tend to occure in your most affected areas, and that more effective antibiotics cause more of them.
10. Heart palpitations or irregularities. Notify your doctor immediately so that they can determine if the irregularities are severe enough to be dangerous. In some extreme cases, people have been put on a temporary pace maker until the worst of the symptoms have disappeared.
11. Dizziness and Vertigo. It’s everywhere else, why be surprised that it’s in your ears? Symptoms here can range from a feeling of “walking through jello” to complete loss of orientation.
12. Temporary Amnesia. Really this is just an extension of memory loss symptoms, except that instead of just losing your short-term memory, mid and sometimes long-term memory can go for a hike as well. These symtpoms can last anywhere from just a few minutes, to a few weeks, and will probably only occur during the first month or so of treatment.
13. Aliens Under My Skin. usually felt in the forearms or shins, but can occure anywhere, this feels for all the world like little turtle-shaped aliens crawling around in the affected area. These are actually associated with an attack by your own immune system against the bacteria, and are probably the result of localized swelling and toxin releases from the bacteria dying under the attack.
14. Sudden bouts of weakness and symptoms flares. Your body is fighting the bacteria alongside the antibiotics. But your body isn’t always a nice steady predictable stream. Occasionally, and even frequently during the first cycle or two, your body will attack. Sometimes with an all-out-vengeance that will literally leave your knees weak and you panting for breath. In extreme cases, this can actually cause fainting. This can be very disconcerting if your’re not expecting it. As long as your heart rate and blood pressure are OK, then youre’ probably fine. Go over your drug allergy checklist and consult your doctor if you think it might be a delayed reaction to antibiotics. Normally, this feeling will drop in intensity within a few minutes. 
15. Headaches. Can range from not at all if you’re really lucky, to some really intense head-splitters. Do whatever you can to survive them.
16. Disconnection. Close your eyes, now where is your arm? OK, look at it now. Doesn’t really feel like it looks where it is, does it? The extreme of this symptom is a complete out-of-body experience. As toxin levels fall, you should become more and more re-connected to your body again. And there you were thinking that you were just getting really good at your Yoga exercises…….
17. Panic Attacks. You don’t want to get these, really, you don’t. It’s a feeling of “Oh my God, I’m going to be like this forever, I can’t take it please, somebody just kill me and get it over with…” The only possible good thing about this symptom is that it goes away.
18. Bright Colors. Your pupils may dilate a bit. Indeed, you may find yourself wearing sunglasses, inside!
19. Hypersensitive Hearing. Your ears may become hypersensitive to sound. In extreme cases, sound, even very quiet ones, can become painful.
20. Mood Swings, Irritability/Short Temper, Erratic Behavior. Again, all due to the toxin’s effect on your mind. These will all clear up as you get well. These symptoms can be especially difficult for those around you to deal with.
21. Yo-Yo. You’ll be feeling like one. Up one minute, down the next. You might wake up feeling great one day, only to find that a couple hours later you’re back feeling horrible again. UP, down, up, down, all around. Slowly, month after month, the downs will stop being quite so low, and eventually go away.
22. Whatever Else. Everyone is different, and the disease is quite well known these days for just how differently it affects different people. Any other significant symptoms that you are concerned about should be discussed with your doctor.

HELPFUL HINTS:

1. You may need help to get through this. You should not be left alone for long periods of time. Someone needs to be around to help encourage and reassure you along your rough road back to wellness. Your mind will not be working properly, and it’s easy to become confused, terrified, and discouraged. Make sure you have someone to talk to when you need them. Just a phone call can help tremendously! Emotional release, if needed, can be good for you! Rare are the ones who can make the journey back to wellness without a few breakdowns along the way. Call around, ask around, find your local lyme disease support groups. Talk to them. That’s why they’re there. They want to help!
2. Eat! When you finally get through this, you’d certainly like to enjoy life again as soon as possible, wouldn’t you? Well you can’t do that if you’re a shriveled-up little mess. Solid food is best, but may prove difficult for a while. Liquid foods like “Ensure Plus” and “Instant Breakfast” can help keep your calorie intake up. Don’t forget your basic “Multi-vitamin & Minerals” either. And eating does much more than just keep your weight up. It provides energy for: your own immune system so it can fight too, for all the healing that has to take place, and energy to help your body process the toxins out. Eat, and you’ll be healthy and happy again that much sooner.
3. Move and Stretch. The worst ting you can do is just sit or lie around all day. Lyme Disease is a deep tissue bug as well as not-so-deep tissue. It likes to hide and live in places that are hard to reach, both for your body and the antibiotics. Stretching and moving around does a number of things: such as providing circulation going and flushing toxins out, you help prevent toxic bulid-up and subsequent possible permanent damage. So if it hurts, stretch it (gently), move it around, get some circulation in there! You should be gently stretching everything from your nose to your toes at least once an hour while you’re awake. Go for a short walk… Even just up and down the driveway, or around the living room a few times will do a world of good. This is extremely important during the first few weeks or so when the toxin levels will skyrocket!
4. Sleeping aids. Do not use sleeping aids during the first couple weeks or so. As long as you have extreme pain or numbness somewhere that needs to be moved around occasionally you’re probably better off rolling around and tosing and turning all night. Once you feel like you can go the night without accumulating severe pain somewhere, then sleeping aids are OK. Naturally, use as little as possible. You do need sleep but you also don’t want permanent toxin damage.
5. Take your medication on time, every time, religiously. Some bacteria takes days to kill. A missed dose may let them recover and restart the clock all over again. Unless, of course, you like suffering……
6. Don’t stop once you feel good. Lyme Disease is very slow growing, but the longer you’ve had it, the deeper into your system it gets. Deep enough such that even the “instant kill” family of cephalosporins antibiotics take time to kill it. Thus it is generally good practice for Lyme patients to continue effect antibiotics for a number of months after symptoms have (seemingly) disappeared. Taking medication when you feel good can be an annoyance, but when you consider what you’re going through now, do you really want to do it again?
7. Lyme Disease doesn’t just grow in the bloodstream. It tends to enter inside your cells and grow there too. Not all antiboitics can penetrate cell walls to effectively kill the bacteria there. Fortunately, there are a number that can: Suprax, Flagyl, and Biaxin for example. One might consider some time spent on these to help kill any bacteria which might have crossed inside the cell wall barrier. 
8. Know the signs of a drug reaction for those drugs you haven’t had before. Sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish between a drug reaction and standard Lyme symptoms. Discuss any concerns or unusual symptoms with your doctor.
9. Avoid any anti-inflammatory and anti-pain medication. Mostly at the start of treatment. Inflammation is your body’s way of increasing circulation to affected areas. Circulation is what brings the antibiotics in to where they need to go and takes the toxins away. Pain is your body’s way of saying “Hey stupid! Move this part around a bit!” You might actually find that anti-inflammatories, though, during the first month or so of treatment, will tend to make joint pains worse. Once past the hard part though, a bit of anti-inflammatory and anti-pain medication is OK.
10. Antibiotic Soap. For shower or bath. Not proven to actually do anything, but may help to kill the bacteria hiding in the pores of your skin.
11. Contact Lenses. Take them out! Never nap or sleep with your contacts in! It is just as likely that the bacteria is in your eyes, as well as everywhere else. A die-off in your eyes can raise the local toxin levels, but with your contacts in your body, is hindered from flushing it away. The result build-up may cause damage to your eyes. Better safe than sorry! Dig up that dusty old pair of glasses!
12. Depression. Nobody likes feeling depressed. Problem is, that a fair number of people just get that way after fighting the disease for a seeming eternity and still not feeling a whole lot better. Try to find things you can do to occupy yourself and keep your mind off it. Do whatever you can, naturally, to lift your spirits and keep them up. Failing that, it is not out of the question to ask you doctor for a little help. Make sure to avoid anti-depressants that can add to your insomnia!
13. B-Complex Vitamins. Thse have been shown to significantly help psychological symptoms. They also help the brain repair and protect itself from toxin damage.
14. Injuries. Try to avoid them. The Lyme bacteria thrive on injured body parts. Bruises, sprains, etc., are a feast with an open all-you-can-eat invitation. You might, to amuse yourself once you know the exact length of your cycle, try mapping back specific short-lived pains to the event which caused them!
15. Exercise. Gentle stretching and low-level workouts are OK. But remember that strenous exercise and hard workouts are actually controlled injury…and injury feeds the bacteria.
16. Yeast Infections – in throat and/or digestive tract. Some antibiotics are more prone than others to causing yeast infections by killing off all your good bacteria. Your doctor should question you about sore throats and intestinal problems each time you visit. These infections can be cured with yet more drugs, or avoided all together by simply asking your pharmacist for “good tummy bacteria”, the live ones”. Lactobacillus Acidophilus (they’re non-prescription) Live Culture yogurt does essentially the same thing, as it contains the very same live bacteria. In either case, make sure to rinse your mouth and throat with water immediately after you eat or drink anything, then swish a bit of your live good bacteria around in your mouth and swallow.
17. Antihistamines. No. No. No. No. No. And most especially not when on one of the cyclene family of antibiotics. Your immune system is one of the biggest factors in your recovery, one of the big superpowers in the war against disease. The antibiotics will kill some percentage of the bacteria each cycle while your immune system kills off the ones that were weakened. Together, the antibiotics and your body create a team to defeat the bacteria. Antihistimines, like Benadryl, turn off your immune system! All they do is make sure that you suffer longer! Further, the cyclene family of antibiotics doesn’t actually kill the bacteria, but rather just stops them from growing and relies on your immune system to kill them.
18. Natural herbs and such. A stroll through your local herbal and natural foods shop will provide you with an amazing array of itmes which claim to do all sorts of good things. Anything that says “boosts your immune system” might be a good idea. Purely optional, although a number of herbal concoctions have actually been shown to do as they claim.
19.Caffeine. Surpresses the immune system, which is very bad. Give up that morning coffee and that afternoon coke.
20. Alcohol. Worse for you than caffeine. Unless you just want to be sick longer, no alcohol!
21. Smoking. Haven’t you been lectured about this enough yet? Now would be a really good time to quit.
22. Rest. You’re going to need a lot of it. Even after you begin to feel better, remember your body is still fighting off a rather nasty infection. Don’t overdo it. Without sufficient rest, recovery just takes longer.
23.Hot drinks. Let them cool off to luke-warm first. Hot fluids tend to make the dead layers of cells on your tongue rather thick to protect them from the scalding heat. This means more stuff for yeast infections to grow in.

Chart it!

Make a chart of your symptoms! Get some graph paper, on the left-hand column list your symptoms and various affected body parts, and then across the top number the days. Each day, fill in the appropriate squares with the severity of your symptoms. Hurts like crazy? Fill that square in. Hurts just a little? Maybe just put a line across the bottom of the square. Record the worst of each symptom each day. You’ll notice that some move gradually up and down, some might appear constant, and others can blink in and out in just a day. Now you have a record. With this record, you can help you and your doctor figure out exactly what to expect when, and even make a prediction on when you’ll feel 100% normal again! Instead of being at the mercy of the disease, waking up each morning and wondering “whats the torture of the day going to be?”, or wondering “When is it ever going to end?”, you could be looking at your chart and knowing exactly what to expect and when! Of course, you still have to map that first cycle, but from there on out you’re not just blindly muddling along!

Sometimes interpreting your chart can be difficult. For instance, some body parts may feel fine during the first month or two, only to become painful later on. Reason being, is that they started out numb, and as the bacteria died away the feeling came back to that area. Physical symptoms that started out painful should show themselves fading away with each cycle. Basic energy level should rise each month, although there may only be a slight increase between the first two cycles. Neuro symptoms should also improve slightly each month, but they will be the last ones to finally clear up.

The Lyme bacteria appears to stick very tightly to its cyclical schedule. These cycles tend to be about 21 days in men, 30 days in women. If your symptoms don’t appear to be going down with each cycle, then consult your doctor about increasing the antibiotic levels, adding another, switching, or whatever the attack plan they might suggest.

Because the physical symptoms disappear first and the psychological ones are sometimes difficult to measure, your doctor may ask you to begin recording your temperature a few times a day once your symptoms are nearly cleared. When you’ve gone through a few full cycles without sign of a fever, you’re done!

The Lyme bacteria will typically have a peak intensity sometime during its cycle each month. Beginning, middle, or end is a matter of chance and at what point you start your charting. But it can be very frustrating to start your antibiotics on the low end of a cycle, only to find yourself feeling worse and worse as the days go by. Which is why you are keeping a chart! It is completely irrevelant to use day-to day or even week-to-week comparisons for whether you are improving. The only reliable way to tell is to compare each months chart and see if the symptoms are improving overall. Again frustraintg, because you really can’t tell if you’re improveing for at least one full cycle. Unless of course, you’re one of those miracle Rocephin cures, which is rare. The rest of us suffer for a month, and then begin comparing each month’s date to the previous to see if there is improvement.

Typical uncomplicated recovery. Before starting your antibiotics you might find yourself feeling pretty bad, or at the least, not very good. Once you start though:

Oh my God, I’m gonna Die.

Ugh, I feel horrible.

Feeling bad.

Feeling much better.

Wow! I feel pretty good!

Symptoms gone!

Now Cycle 1 Cycle 2 Cycle 3 Cycle 4

This chart assumes many things, mostly that nothing goes wrong, that the choice of antibiotic and its level are correct from the start, etc..It is intended to be an example of how a typical recovery might feel.

The Lyme Disease Cycle. Is not really 30 days precisely. Rather, in women it tends to match their menstrual cycle in number of days. In men the cycle is usually around 21 day. But again, these vary from person to person. The only way to know for sure is to make a chart of your symptoms and then begin looking for patterns.

There are many different strains of Lyme Disease. Fortunately there is also a vareity of antibiotics. The trick is to find the antibiotics which your stain is susceptible to and that your body will tolerate in high doses. This can be extremely discouraging, to spend weeks or months on a particular antibiotic, only to figure out that it isn’t working. This is one reason that Lyme Disease is frequently treated with two different antibiotics at the same time. Another is that doubling up provides a much higher kill rate. If the first set of antibiotics you try doesn’t seem to be doing much, don’t be afraid to ask you doctor for a few short trials of some others. Try each one for three days. Remember how you felt each third day. Continue with the one/ones which hit you the hardest.

Cephalosporins – When they work, they work extremely well. This family is effectively an “instant” kill, meaning that it can kill the bacteria regardless of the stage of the its life-cycle. Naturally, like everything else, they’re more effective during the reproductive cycle. But, essentially, this class of antibiotics pokes holes in the bacterial cell wall and causes the little buggers to bleed to death.

Penicillans – This class blocks cell wall formation during the reproductive cycle of the bacteria. They are a slow-kill antibiotic, but usually highly effective.

Cyclenes – Generally gum up the DNA of the bacteria. Without functioning DNA, the bacteria can’t reproduce or grow.

Advanced Macrolides – Block protein synthesis in the bacteria. Without proteins, the bacteria have a difficult time doing much of anything.

Metrodizanol – Does three things: gums up the bacterial DNA, suffocates the bacteria that may be in anaroebic mode, and breaks their little legs so they can’t run and hide (almost literally! The bacateria use their flagellum to escape attacking white blood cells, but without functioning flippers, they become easy targets). One possible problem with this antibiotic, is that it may be a tad too useful. By enabling the immune system to see and catch the bacteria the body is suddenly hit with the realizationthat there is tremendous infection going on. The immune system response can be intense. Possibly a great choice for “mop-up” later in treatment.

Antibiotics dosage and duration. Typical bacteria have very short cycle times, usually measured in hours or minutes. This means, that an antibiotic that is given at a standard rate to produce an effective 10-20% kill rate can kill a typical infection in just a matter of a few days. With each cycle the antibiotic kills some percentage of whatever bacteria are still left. When the numbers get low enough your body cleans up the stragglers, thus keeping the “percentage of what’s left” from becomming one of those “limits that never reach zero” problems that you dreaded back in high school algebra. The Lyme bacteria behaves the same way. With each cycle the standard rate of antibiotics will kill some percentage of whatever is there. Except that the lyme bacteria has a cycle time measured in weeks! (3-4) It could take years to kill the infection at standard rates! Antibiotics are dosed quite high, and often combined, in order to achieve the highest kill rate possible without killing the patient (you) in the process. But even forcing a very high kill rate can still take 4-6 months before the levels are brought down far enough for your body to overwhelm the stragglers. The other reason that antibiotic levels are kept very high for Lyme Disease treatment is that the bacteria isn’t just in one or two easy-to reach places. It’s everywhere. That includes the central nervous system (CNS) and inside cells, joints, etc, etc….Many antibiotics have a difficult time reaching these places in concentrations high enough to effectively kill the disease in these areas. Don’t let your doctor underdose treatment options and effective dosage rates. Duration, or how long you stay on the high rate of antibiotics is just as important. A typical infection by a typical bacteria is beaten to death for many cycles past when it should have all been dead, just to make sure. Why not the same with Lyme? Currently, you’ll be lucky if your doctor agress to one full cycle symptom-free. Press for one full cycle fever-free. If you manage to stay on antibiotics for anything after that, consider yourself blessed. But 3-4 fever- free cycles, assuming that you’re back living a healthy lifesytle and doing what you can to keep your immune system pumped up in top condition, well, that should to it. Time to stop and see if it’s really as dead as we all hope it is.

Diary of a Gay Mormon Missionary.

“You could have set me free 10 years Earlier” The Universe demanded a deal, I should have included her….

 Last week I had a talk with Shelly, my ex-wife, mother of our four children.  We talk a lot and I am not always easy to deal with.  Between her and Bill I have found my way to where I am now, and it seems that I might finally be able to tell this story.  You see, I always assumed that Michelle must have known that I was struggling with being gay.  I mean, I told her before we were married that I had same sex experiences before I joined the church, and my Bishop told me to tell her that Jesus has forgiven me and she should also.  I said, “If you are concerned about marrying me you should talk to your Bishop”.  I had rehearsed that line from the…

View original post 3,759 more words

https://williamsawyerdotcom.wordpress.com/2012/08/07/635/

The Fat Yogi Tells His Mormon Story!

Diary of a Gay Mormon Missionary.

You can imagine the hate that comes from people who are supposed to be God‘s Chief Love Officers.  It comes, and in response often I can be pretty acerbic and witty.  Sometimes my Mormon and Christian friends and family are put off at how open I am atheist.  I really have no room for God at this point; it is beyond my ability to understand.  This was written in response to attacks that came from well-meaning Christians and Mormons and posted originally on Barrel Horse World just minutes ago.

My intent is to tell a real life story, but before I do, here is what I posted in response to years of Christian and now Mormon bullying.  I wrote it for them, but this is also for Linda, my closest Mormon friend and for my the mother of my children.  This is the truth about what I feel when…

View original post 2,044 more words

https://williamsawyerdotcom.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/634/

Dramatic Weight Loss Photos!

I have been so busy with school that I have not updated everyone with how fantastic the yoga lifestyle is for me and I hope for you also! Here is a quick before and after photo though I am down another 5 pounds from that photo!

Asian Turkey Lettuce Boats & Asian Eggs: One Recipe Two Meals: Best QUICKIE Diet Solution EVER with “go to food” solutions!

Ingredients: Sriracha Hot Chile Sauce, 2 packages of ground turkey, lettuce, onions, bell peppers, celery, rice vinegar, soy sauce, Mirin, salt pepper, fresh garlic. This is going to be the base recipe for two different meals, breakfast and dinner.

It is so hard to develop what I call my ‘go to foods’. ‘Go to Foods’ are the daily meal options that I have created for myself to help me avoid eating poorly. This recipe does quadruple duty, it can be lunch, dinner, snack, or made into a tasty high protein breakfast.

This recipe is not really measured, so much as it is thrown together. To eat healthy on a daily basis you have to replace your current, ‘go to foods’ with new ‘go to foods’.

What exactly are ‘go to foods’? Simply explained it is what you eat when your hungry, that you know will satisfy that craving be it emotional or real. We all think that we eat a wide

Get the pan hot with two teaspoons of either canola oil or olive oil. I use them both. Fat is not an issue when you eat good fats. I use about two tablespoons.Always get the pan hot before you add the food.

variety of foods, but the realities are: Most of us eat two or three different breakfast, lunch, or dinner options. Look at your last week honestly and tell me often you repeated a type of food? Did you have three or four hamburgers last week, or 4 turkey sandwiches, or three breakfast burritos. Did spaghetti or pizza show up numerous times? I want you to really look at how many different meals you ate. One of the most diet defeating things that most diet gurus do is provide great daily diet plans with simple to follow menus and shopping list. Which begs the following question:

I use a Slap Chop for the garlic, lettuce, bell peppers, and celery. Plus I use a great big pan. I am making Bill and I at least 4 meals each out of this dish. So you can see I added the celery, onions, and bell peppers.

How many of you use a shopping list and plan your meals for a week in advance?

I suspect that unless you are a stay at home housewife or house husband and your bored, then you have time to follow a meal plan and a diet. Freak, that is too much work and too much drama. So I am sharing recipes and quick ways of cooking that has helped me loose over 50 pounds.

So throw away your old style of eating and try some of the foods I eat, create some quick go to meals on your own based on what I do or what you already know. Replace your old ‘go

Once the veggies are cooked down I add the turkey. I already gave a squirt of Sriracha to the veggies prior to adding the turkey.

to foods’ with a battery of new ‘go to foods”. When your house is full of your “go to foods’ you eat better. Here are links to several of my favorite “go to foods” cooking ideas.

Guacamole Deviled Eggs

Zesty Chicken White Beans and Bacon

Burrito Bowl on a Plate

The Fat Yogi’s Bag of Tricks This is not a recipe it is a link to skills that I have adopted to help me make better choices.

Hope you enjoy today’s meal option! Tomorrow we will make the breakfast option!

Add the Sriracha Hot Chili Oil and the mirin, rice wine vinegar, soy sauce, and if you have it, you can add some tasted sesame seed oil. I am cooking in one pan and not taking time to prepare it like a FOODIE would. This is 'go to food' so you can cook, clean and eat quicker than going out or nuking. We all look for short cuts in everything, that is what drives human forward. To lose 50 plus pounds you need to make your go to foods quick and tasty. They need to satisfy a craving.Brown in one pan. There is going to be a lot of juices, you can drain if you want. I don't drain. The turkey was low fat. I made about a 12 to 14 serving dish, so the addition of Mirin (max two tablespoons) and the other liquids create the flavor. Without adding the guilt. Just remember to really look at the sugar and carbs of condiments. Use Sparingly over large dishes for flavor.Scoop and serve! Now lets take this mixture and make it BREAKFAST!!!!

Sharing Family Secrets With My Daughters

As I look at all the messages, life lessons, and traditions that I have shared with my children, perhaps one of the most important has been the key to healthy living. My parents were pretty naive about food. The biggest imprint they left on me was to try anything and everything and to clean my plate.

So that got me to thinking about the messages that I send my daughters about food. To be honest I never really shared with them the knowledge I gained from the nutrition courses that were completed as part of my undergraduate education or the many diets that their mother and I had been on over the years as we both yo-yo’d up and down.

But the entire picture had never been as clear as it is to me now or as simple. Yes there is a lot of explanations about what I eat and what I don’t eat, in this blog and on my ever evolving food plan. The simple message I share with my daughters, the secret Sawyer Family tradition to looking great and feeling young as you age is:

“Eat Beans, Meat, and Vegetables Six Days a Week and on the Seventh Day eat whatever you want. On top of that MOVE, I do Yoga!”

That is the entire family secret to a healthy life and longevity. It is brief and to the point. There is no counting calories, though I do pay attention to calories. The is no measuring the quantity of what you eat, you simply eat a series of no-carb, a slow-carb or low carb days, following cheat day. Which series your going to follow depends on how much weight you want to achieve and how often you have been on the stage you are on. You should never go on the no carb stage of the diet for more than three weeks at a time.

But to keep the message simple I always start and end with the same old time tested and true advice from the annals of Sawyer Family legend.

We can be skinny, we can be vibrant, we can be healthy if we “eat our beans meat and vegetables”.

Don’t I look Yogafabulistic! I sat on that rock for 30 minutes till someone…..

The things I notice is that I look thin sitting down. You can see space between my elbows, I did a happy dance when I saw this photo!

……finally, came to my rescue and took that picture. Okay, for the first 20 minutes the squirrels in Mears’ Park literally ran circles around those lovely white birch trees dancing mere inches from Corky’s nose just across the water. They were relentless, if I had my F350 dually and was out at the Torturro’s I ‘d saunter over to my truck pull out my pink pistol pull the trigger and shoot corn nuggets to feed the poor fellows. I am not that red neck, I don’t own a gun, yet! My dad did make sure I was proficient in gun safety and I did my share of shooting as a kid. Just not a real gun fan now a days. No need to own one, at least not for me.

I just knew that Corky and I would look so cute sitting there, that surely someone would come and offer to take our picture. I hadn’t planned on the squirrels or the fact that by the time the dog settled down and my clearly obvious gestures of sitting there with my Droid……

Bill's sister lives on Little Birch lake and we spend many weekends at her cabin with Bill's neice and nephew. Linda is one of the strongest women I know and she raised two fine children I am proud to call family!

…..in my hand taking pictures would surely end, when a kind person finally offered to take the photo. Thirty minutes on a small flat stone surrounded by cold water, one can say I was stiff and that smile was trying. But it is the photo I was looking for to celebrate the next chapter of Will and Bill’s Excellent Adventures.

You see moving to Minnesotawas Bill’s idea, not mine. However, Bill has followed me all over the country this last decade while we opened a bed and breakfast and an equestrian event production company, so there was never a question when Bill wanted to return to his family. The problem was

After we got my great photo I wanted one of Corky!

The Fat Yogi and Nicole.....look at that fat cowboy it is a wonder my horse ran that fast!

that once I got here, it did not feel like home and then to add to the misery, Minneapolis got hit by the November Snownami 2010 and then pummeled by one of the worst winters in more than 30 years….. I don’t do snow!

I like to cross-country ski and downhill ski and I am little kid on a tube or a sled, but…… I don’t do snow! Just like as a cowboy barrel racer, I did not do horse shit. Of course I have shoveled, albeit less than my fair share of shit and snow, but I have shoveled a great deal in my life. I would not call me lazy, I am just extremely motivated to find other options than shoveling. You might say I have shovel PTSD.  In fact I shoveled my way through six years of graduate and undergraduate education. Every summer I worked for my Mormon buddy who owned a landscape company. He and I would spend weekends in the fall either setting up a pumpkin stand or preparing for the Christmas Trees and gift shop sale at his nursery retail center in Idaho. I more than know the value of work and being poor, but i also know how to avoid a shovel at all cost…..I bet I am not alone in that skill. It is all because my father had me shovel 13 tons of mud from behind our house in the 80’s to pay for my high school ring.

I have shoveled so much that I know I don’t like to shovel, it is a job best left to those who enjoy it and I am willing to go to great lengths to avoid things I don’t like. So my horses were kept in stables and my life is in a loft in Lowertown St. Paul.

Why Lowertown Saint Paul?

Last year after spending several weekends trapped in our home or a hotel because our hybrid could not clear the snow in the alley. It did not matter though, none of the

Living in a loft neither of us will have to shovel! Poor Bill he was way better at shoveling than I was.

4wd’s could clear it either, the city was shut down. Shortly after the trauma I told Bill that I would live in Minnesota as long as we are in a Sky Way condo  or loft and then I worked until I found us one. Hence the photos of the our loft. Next week we will showcase the loft in it’s own blog post.

So the reason this photo of our next life adventure, is of me alone sitting contentedly in Mears Park with Corky. Is because I finally am feeling like I have found a home. I have a vision for my future and a

Bill on a tractor in Oklahoma!

plan. I have a wonderful family that supports all I do and I have a brilliant husband whom I adore. Lowertown Saint Paul, Minnesota is now my home.

The Fat Yogi’s Next Bold Adventure!

So as Bill settles into his new job at an IT firm in the Twin Citiesarea it is time for me to begin working on my next projects. Here is where things are getting interesting. Once I shed the weight, I found some incredible energy and a new vision for my life. Bill says, “You change the world one person at a time, Will”. I never really know what he means but I think the person who changed

So here we are! Will and Bill in Minnesota!

from my blogging so openly and honestly about being fat and doing yoga is myself and since I love to write and create and share, I truly hope that I can inspire others to shed their fears and find their own best life. Along the way I am going to blog about my schooling, not only will the recipes continue, but there will be projects that I share with my readers as I learn them and work on them in my new studio/mudroom in our loft. I often feel as if I have been blessed with an incredible curiosity but a short attention spanwhich was why barrel racing was such a great sport for me. The

Here is the cool old werehouse that houses our loft!

entire competition would run from 14-18 seconds, I probably have ADHD and that was about all the concentration I have, of course we accomplish about 80 separate movements in that 14 seconds….lol…back to the story….

So I have been accepted into the pre-interior design program at University of Minnesota College of Design. I know exactly what my readers are thinking and they are right, gay guys barrel race, no matter how much I pretended the sport is filled with straight dudes, there are a few, but honestly that sport is gay guys and hot chicks. So yes I am following my next passion in life and going to design school as a 47-year-old man. My daughter Hillary just got a $20,000 scholarship to the University of British Columbia, so we will both graduate the same summer in 2015. How cute is that?

We are never to old to got back to school and chase our dreams!

Here is one of the rooms I did at the Inn and Spa at Parkside that Bill and I owned in Sacramento, CA. Bill really wanted a yellow room and it is not one of my favorite colors to work with so I used it once! The end result surprised me. The room was called Kiss and I imagine there was a lot of kissing done in this room. That was the point!

So the Fat Yogi is still going to be a blog where we really talk a lot about being fat and doing yoga, because it is an everyday struggle for me to eat correctly. But I do go back to the principles out lined in my food plan every time I take a diet holiday I never go more than three days and then with steely determination I start over and the end result is 182 pounds and dropping!!! Yogafabulistic!!!

During the first week or so of moving into our new loft while we were building walls and furniture our diet was less than perfect and as we got all the dishes unpacked and the kitchen restocked, we went firmly back on the eating plan.

So yes we are going to still be a blog about food and yoga and reclaiming our lives, but part of reclaiming our lives is following our passions. My entire life has been spent it chasing

It took us 30 days, two new walls, a new entry area studio/mudroom, and 1300 square feet of vast empty space. Are you curious about what I have gotten done and what is going to be done? Stay tuned!

my passions and it is fitting that my hunger for design and my desire to live with my husband Bill Swenson has brought me to the first home I have truly felt is not just Bill’s home but this loft on Mears’ Park in Saint Paul. Is now my home also!

Down 43 Pounds and I Went on a Shopping Spree: Vote your favorite look! PHOTOS!!!!

Here is my birthday last year! I hid in hoodies. I was a mess. I Love the cake my daughter made me for my birthday.

 

I am taking a break from part three of “The Fat Yogi’s Bag of Tricks” to bring you a little fun! Last week while we were in Oklahoma I had to leave behind three pairs of pants because they were falling off. The two pairs I bought to replace them are already falling off and all my large shirts and too large. So I decided to go buy an outfit to wear to out or to work that actually fits. Buying new clothes is so much fun

So vote for the outfit you like the most.

I like how casual and nice this cobination is. Though I am not sure it is dressy enough for a night at the Ordway or the Guthrie.

The Gingham and Paisley look with a three pocket sweater is so "Hipster".

 

I can't believe I am wearing somthing other than a black tent to hide my belly under. I am love wearing color again.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Part 2: “The Fat Yogi’s Bag of Tricks” Before During and After Photos of 41 Pound Weight Loss

From 230 Pounds to 186 Pounds!!!!

Yesterday is was 40 pounds today it is 41 pounds…..woohoo!!! Bill snapped todays photos and he was impatient. I interrupted his birthday eggs to take this picture. Tonight we are going to the Ordway to see the hit new Broadway musical, Next to Normal, to celebrate his big day! Hence the photos are a little blurry.

December 17, 2010 Wow I was FAT!!! 230 Pounds!!! Looking trim at 189.6 Pounds!

 
 

189.6 Pounds!!!!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
So how exactly did I lose the 41 pounds? Not only did I start on the Slow Carb Diet, I discovered it weakness after I lost the first 20 pounds and based on my years of studying and real life experience I developed this bag of tricks to actually lose weight and keep it off.
 
The Fat Yogi’s Bag Of Tricks
  1. Binge weekly: at least one day per week as noted in my food plan.
  2. Weigh Daily: Ignore what the pros say about weighing weekly. There is no research that shows that weighing weekly is better than weighing daily. Daily weights give you a running total of what direction you’re heading.
  3. Identify a weight range of six pounds, three pounds each direction and make sure on a Day-to-Day basis you are staying within that 6 pound range.
  4. If you are losing weight only record your weight weekly, on the same day, at the same time. This is your official weight. Through the week during this phase you are looking to see if you are staying within the range for that weeks weight loss. If you at anytime during the week you creep to 4 pounds above the range, look at what your eating.
  5. It is OK to cheat between cheat days. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you have to open your mouth like and swallow that ball whole and fast. You need to create rules for cheating. These rules are to help you balance your goals with real life actions. Rules for cheating give your permission to start over each and every meal.
  6. Allow yourself a bag or two of popcorn, no added butter and a diet coke once or twice a week, it must replace a meal or a snack and if the next day you get on the scale and your out of your safe weight range , double down on the food plan.
  7. Once you have gotten the first 20 pounds off it is time to pull back on the beans a bit and focus on lean meats and vegetables. I will eat beans only once a day and many days are sole veggies and protein.
  8. Protein bars with zero grams of sugar. I eat Think Thin protein Bars. Buy these by the box full, you will eat them a lot!!!!
  9. Get used to feeling hunger. This is an entire post all on its own and it really has a yoga connection. Which is why it is a post all on its own. Let me just tell you there is power in developing a healthy desire for the feeling of hunger. REAL LIFE CHANGING POWER!!!
  10. MOVE everyday. Even if I don’t make it to a yoga class everyday, I practice yoga daily! Getting your joints open and moving creates space for fluids to work in your joints. If you’re not opening your joints and moving them they get stiff and stuck and there is no room for joint fluids to move around.

Part 3: Hunger Pain and The Yoga Connection!

 

The Fat Yogi’s “Bag of Tricks” To Healthier Living: Part One-Do you ever hide your food?

 

On December 17th, 2010 I began this blog and I weighed 230 pounds. Boy was I a big guy and my poor horse had been hauling my fat ass all over the country. Today I am down 40 pounds and my blood pressure is that of an athlete, 115/75.

What you see above is evidence of the binges around the time of Easter, hence my favorite trailer trash confection, PEEPS! Now I did not eat this all at once, but over about three weeks, every couple of days or so, and after Bill would go to bed. I would drive over to Walgreen’s or McDonald’s and either eat a Big Mac or two boxes of peeps.

Confessions Suck! The entire time Bill was being completely faithful to our new choices, but I was adding a few bad food choices on a meal here or there. Plus, almost the entire time Bill and I have been following the low carb diet I have been eating one to two small bags of movie popcorn, no butter and a large diet coke.

Yet I still lost 40 pounds in the last five months and I am continuing to lose. I credit my success to a regular yoga practice, better food choices, bingeing, and learning to enjoy the feeling of hunger. The synergy of yoga and diet over the last 5 months is absolutely amazing and it created what I call my ‘Bag of Tricks’ (Bag of Tricks blog post part 2, tomorrow).

I have read almost every credible book written and tried every credible diet. I have taken multiple nutrition courses at the college level. I would have to say that no diet has ever given me permission to cheat as much as I have cheated on this diet and still lose 40 pounds.

I must have been eating close to 5000 calories a day or more prior to December 2010. So the occasional bad meal on top of about 1500 calories a day plus excercise (yoga, swimming biking) really did not change the over all outcome of the diet.

That is because, when I had a meal, where I made bad food choices. I did not let that meal or snack start the beginning of a spiral to seven years of bad food choices. I simply enjoyed the moment and my next meal was a correct choice. I attribute that to calories, even though I am not counting them.

A Big Mac has 540 calories and I would probably eat about 500 calories of PEEPS. Good thing PEEPS are so sugary, you can eat to many and after a box of 4 bunnies the second box is never as good.

So that would bring my calorie count to about 2000 on the days I was bad. Yet Bill hit a plateau and I was still loosing weight. I think eating 1500 calories or so a day for three or four days and then one day of 2000 and then back to 1500 calories for a few days before the big binge day, is the key. My metabolism probaly can’t figure out if I am starving it or fueling it. That was the beginning of my developing my “Bag of Tricks” to help me lose the weight and continue to lose wieght without feeling discouraged.

Feeling discouraged is worse than feeling hungry……….REPEAT THIS PHRASE….it is a key piece of information to the secret to losing weight.

When you are changing your daily eating habits, you are not joining a monastery, you are changing your day-to-day eating habits. That does not mean you can’t enjoy the occasional splurge several times a week, but you must have rules that you put in place to guide you willingly back to better food choices for the next bite that goes into your mouth.

If you are like the old me, one Snicker bar on the way home from work would set me off for weeks. Always waiting for the next Monday, while a growing sense of shame and FAT creeped into my soul and leaked out into my jeans. I was a pro at starting over.

I stopped starting over and started living……REPEAT!!!!

But I still have not talked about hiding food, hmmm……..the evidence is above and it is humiliating to look at. Hiding food, secret eating, am I alone?

I had never hidden food before, but Bill and I are making the same food choices and eating the same foods. So when I made a decision to (how can I minimize this????…hmmm..) I surely did not want him to know I was cheating, he would think so poorly of me. Plus he takes out the trash and would see the evidence. The thought occurred to me that this might be how people start a food disorder. Hence the confession and of course I have not done a Big Mac run or had a PEEP melt down since Easter. More importantly, I stopped hiding food. I can tell you those secret trips taught me more about my relationship with food than any thing I have ever read. We will come back to this but I would like some feedback about others secret eating and secret food stashing.

If you are brave enough to share your story about your unhealthy relationship with food…..I can tell you the 3000 followers of this blog would love to read about it, send me an email at wdsted@gmail.com and I will select one or more to blog about. I feel like I am only scratching the surface.

This is a part post!

Part 2: The Bag of Tricks and Before and after photos…

Part 3: Hunger Pains and the Yoga Connection